Saturday, December 6, 2014


I lye on my bed,sweat trickling down my face,i turned to my left and right and admired the treasures GOD Almighty has given me,this in particular helps me forge on,despite the hurts and pain I go through.
I am wondering and trying to find answers to my present predicament.
I wish I knew Yesterday,Today!! I will surely not be in this anguish boat,left at the middle of the sea,with no paddle to give me direection in this lonely sea.
Tears have run out,emotions have faded....
I'm stock here...
But thanks to Almighty God,he will surely take care of me and lead me victorious..

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Every one of us will have times when we are criticized, sometimes fairly, but more often unfairly, creating stress in our hearts and minds and sometimes in our relationships. It could be someone at home, your workplace, your church, your school or even your social circle always trying to find fault in things you do or maybe always speaking negatively about you ,trying to make you look bad or maybe blowing some minor incident out of proportion. Usually anyone doing any of these is definitely not trying to help you, but is simply trying to drag you down.

Over time through personal experience, I have learnt and realized that criticizing someone doesn’t bring about lasting changes, instead it incurs resentment. Criticism is futile sometimes because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment.

Hanes selye a great psychologist said ‘As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation’. The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members, children and friends and still not correct the situation that has been condemned. Most times when we convey things in a pleasant tone of voice, resounding the benefits or importance, it stays and often makes impact. Using my own experience, I have equally noticed that when one is being criticised all the thoughts that comes to the persons head is ways to justify himself.

Naturally we know how to justify our actions,(both reasonable and unreasonable) even when we are not criticized, not to talk of someone who is being criticized. We all have this in us, not because we are bad people but it’s just human nature in action. In our society we see wrong doers (evil perpetrators) blaming everybody but themselves. Let’s look at the major evils befalling our society today, take the ‘bokoharam sect’ which is a deadly sect, yet they speak up justifying their deadly acts by saying they have an un spelt course they are fighting for:(scrap of western education and in their dreams trying to Islamise our Gods nation Nigeria) Or is it the Niger Deltan Militants that cry for marginalisation, but they convey their issues by perpetrating all sorts.

Certainly constructive criticism can be helpful, but most times, it is not conveyed the right way, instead it is often presented, with an intentional sting. When you and i are tempted to criticize someone, we should always remember that they will try to justify themselves and condemn us in return. In other to achieve the desired change in them we should be careful on how we pass it on.

Like Lincolns favourite quotations ‘Judge not, that ye be not judged’. It is important we remember that we are dealing with creatures of emotions.

Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure why they do what they do .This is a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism, and it breads sympathy, tolerance and kindness and it is worthy of note that it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Goal Setting

Successful people are successful because they are very clear about their values. Complete failures have no real values at all. The virtues and qualities that you stand for are what constitute the person you have become from the beginning of your life to this moment.

Your ability to set goals and make plans for their accomplishment is the “master skill” of success. The development of this ability and your making it a lifelong habit will do more to assure high success and achievement in your life than any other skill you can possibly learn.

As with anything, you only own the process of goal setting by learning it and then by applying it over and over for yourself until it becomes automatic, like breathing in and breathing out. Your goal must be to become a continuous goal setter. You must become so clear and focused about what it is you want that every single hour of every day you find yourself doing things that are moving you in achieving your GOAL.

Nothing happens by accident. Everything happens for a reason. And you are the “primary creative force” in your own life. Things are happening in your life because you make them happen, not because you sit around and wait for them to happen.

In attaining our goals the under listed can serve as a guiding principle:

CLARITY: is the most important single quality of goal-setting You have to know exactly what you want in each area of your life, If your goal is getting more money, you should be specific about exactly how much more money you want to earn in a specific period of time
Most people are unconsciously preoccupied with the fear of failure. It is the greatest single obstacle to success in life. And the fear of failure can work on you unconsciously by blocking you from setting clear specific goals.

WRITE YOUR GOALS DOWN. When your goals are written, it shows that you are clear on what you want. Nonetheless, a goal that is written down is merely a fantasy or a wish. A goal that is clearly written and described on a piece of paper is now something concrete that you can touch and feel and work with.

SET A DEADLINE: If it is a large goal, set a series of sub-deadlines and if it is not achieved during that time frame, set another one and work towards it.

MAKE A LIST: Making a list of everything you can possibly think of that can help you achieve your goals, this in turn intensifies you.Howver,after making a list, it is important you prioritize by drawing a scale of preference.

TAKE ACTION: Most people have great ideas combined with great hopes and dreams. They may even get to the point of writing down their goals. But when it comes to taking action, they always have a reason or excuse to procrastinate to put it off until a later time. However, as the Bible says, “Faith without deeds is dead.”
It is when you launch toward your goal that you begin to feel the desire and power that goes along with goal setting. And once you have launched toward your goal, it is much easier for you to continue moving in that direction

DAILY ACTION: It is rewarding when you do something every day to move you toward your major goal. Never let a day go by without you engaging in some action that helps you move another step in the direction of what you really, really want in life.

These simple principles of deciding exactly what you want, writing it down, setting a deadline, making a list, taking action on the most important item on your list and then doing something every day towards your goal will change your life and your future in ways that you cannot even dream of.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Discovering Your Purpose in Life

Do you know how to give your life meaningful direction? I will point out three steps that can guide you in discovering the purpose of your life:

1) Understanding the principle of choice
2) Creating your underlying principle

3) Aligning your life with the underlying principle

The power of choice is the greatest power we have, it’s a choice to be happy, if you are fearful, you can overcome that misery by choosing to have courage. The whole trend and the quality of anyone's life are determined by the choices that are made".

Choosing is the most important activity of your mind because by making a choice, you are proclaiming your desires to your subconscious mind. Once the subconscious mind gets to know your desires, it is going to do anything to manifest them in your life.
The choices you make in your life become your goal. And, if you are sincere in pursuing them, there is no reason why you should not accomplish them.

Indecision, on the other hand, not only creates frustration and anxiety, but can also confuse the subconscious mind about what you want. But it is important that the choices you make are made by you, in accordance with your true desires and purposes. A lot us of let others make choices for us, or make our choices according to what we think is 'correct', even if it means that we go against our wishes. What is right for someone may not be right for you, and the way to know this is listen to what your heart says.

Begin with, making a list of things which interests you; things which you have always enjoyed, which make you feel better, inspires you to charge ahead, no matter what obstacles you face. Do you like doing something creative, or something artistic? Do you enjoy nature, do you like the sea? Do you enjoy helping others? Do you love teaching? Do you enjoy singing? Do you enjoy repairing things? Do you get pleasure out of making a difference in other people's life?

Whatever it is that interests you, go ahead and make a list, with the under listed headings.

Things you love to do.
What is it that you love in this thing and why?
How you could do this for money, and make a living out of it?

Thursday, November 3, 2011


One of life’s greatest lessons is that you alone are responsible for your thoughts and actions. While you cannot always choose your circumstances, you can choose your thoughts. Those thoughts will shape the kind of person you will become, as well as the decisions you make.
You are responsible for constructing your life journey, like my Daddy always says, ‘MAN IS THE ARCHITECT OF HIS FORTUNE’. The inspirational dream, isn’t measurable, it’s about reaching the stars and not counting them.
You should have checks for your dream journey like:
ü I am working at being a positive person, with a positive self image
ü I am living in the present and taking responsibility for my life
ü I am a dreamer, imagining where i could be in the future
ü I have set specific,realistic,achieveable and measurable goals
ü I have one key goal,i will GROW a little each day
ü I am not afraid of hard work
ü I am prepared to move out of my comfort zone
ü I can follow a healthy balanced life style

Most importantly, in attaining set goals, you must learn how to manage your time.managing your time, is one of the secrets to enjoying the goal getting journey. It leads to a balanced lifestyle, ongoing personal growth and a sense of personal satisfaction as you develop new skills. In this you can discover through trial and effort the method of managing time that suits you most.

In the journey to success, you will always encounter obstacles that will groom you, so they are necessities. However in managing obstacles, you have to hold on to your positive thoughts about yourself, your strength and your ability, these are the key parts of the goal getting journey. But you should know that life is a journey and it’s in stages, also your new habits, new methods of planning in improving your journey through life will also take time. If you try to be consistent overtime you will get results progressively.

A characteristic of successful men and women is that they never use the word ‘FAILURE’ They look upon temporary defeats and setbacks as simply another way of learning how to succeed...They learn from every experience. They refuse to get upset. They keep their minds focussed on their goals.

It is worthy of note that life has meaning and purpose. This is why it is worthwhile exploring opportunities, developing new skills and interest, coping with new situations and having a positive view of the future.


Attitude – never ever forget that you choose your attitude and how you respond to all that life throws at you. Live in hope and work hard at taking a positive, constructive attitude into everything you do and into all your meaningful relationships.

Ask – never stop asking questions no matter how trivial you might think they are. When others share their stories with you, you will gain knowledge which could significantly impact your life decisions.

Apologise – no-one is perfect. When you make a mistake, say you are sorry.

Celebrate – celebrate the small and large victories; the times you achieve a relatively simple goal or achieve a long-term, major goal or when you successfully make it through a tough challenge. Never lose your sense of humour. Laugh often. Have fun.

Communicate – work consistently hard at developing and improving your communication skills. Become a brilliant listener, a motivator, encourager and inspiration to others. Develop a positive vocabulary, watch your body language and radiate care, compassion and unconditional love towards others. Show empathy, be genuine and respectful and people will value your contributions to their lives.

Conflict – conflict is part of life. Learn how to turn conflict into a positive learning and growth experience. Deal with it without violating another’s rights and don’t run away from it. Develop mediation skills. Become a healer where there is tension, pain, misunderstanding and suffering. Peacemakers are desperately needed!

Failure – don’t fear failure. Move out of your comfort zone if the challenge is not life-threatening. Life lessons are learnt when you give something a go. The key is to learn from the experience.

Finish well – whatever you do, give it your best shot until you finish, even if this is simply completing something only you know about. Whatever you start, even when you decide it’s not something you wish to pursue, finish well. Those who finish well find more windows of opportunities opening and they will soar on eagle’s wings.

Goal-getting – be a goal getter. Experiment with different methods of reaching your goal/s until you find the best method for you. Draw up a clear action plan and take small steps initially. Research suggests that those who set goals achieve much.

Humility – stay grounded so you do not allow your achievements to go to your head. Be proud of all you achieve, always remaining humble.

Integrity and Forgiveness – be a person of integrity, someone who keeps their word and who others can trust and depend on. Be respectful of yourself and others. Be quick to sincerely forgive those who wrong you, even when you battle to forget.

Learning – never ever stop learning and acquiring knowledge. Knowledge feeds the soul and helps you to become an effective change-agent in your local and wider community. Research, read widely, consult others and explore the works, ideas and opinions of others.

Listen – always listen to the opinions and ideas of others. Older people have more life experiences and their stories can assist your personal growth. They also were adolescents. Through listening, you have the opportunity to discern information you would like to use and store or discard.

Mirror Talk – love the person you see in the mirror each day. Remember you are unique and special and no-one else has your specific gifts and talents. It’s a fact – never forget that. Ignore those who tell you otherwise.

Money – avoid making money your God. It won’t and never can be. While it’s wonderful to have sufficient money to feed, clothe, house and educate ourselves, later to raise a family in a safe and secure environment, money will not buy you happiness.

Opportunities – engrave into your Being that every obstacle can be turned into an opportunity if you are prepared to think creatively, seek the guidance and wisdom of others and have the patience to work towards something, rather than expect a quick-fix solution or instant gratification.

Passion/s – identify your passion or passions. If you could do anything you wanted today and had all the qualifications you needed, what would you choose to do? That’s your passion – do something with it! Chase it!

Persevere – don’t quit! Go the extra mile even if you have to sweat a little, make some sacrifices (of social life) or commit yourself to something for a little longer. You will amaze yourself at what can be achieved when you do this.

Positive Peers – when you surround yourself with positive peers you will have a greater chance of becoming the best you can be. Positive peers know right from wrong – always choose your friends carefully and let trust develop over time.

Reflect – take time out each day to think about how you are doing, what you are doing, why you are doing it and what lessons can be learnt. Pray, meditate and be still for a few minutes each day.

Relationships – keep building your relationships and networks with peers, family, other adults (teachers, coaches etc.), employers and, most importantly, with God – that’s a challenge, but the soul needs to be nurtured. The world is slowly coming to appreciate that the story of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus is historically proven. Not sure? With an open mind, check out the details yourself. To be loved unconditionally is an amazing experience and it’s something every honest human being desires.

Self-discipline – build a disciplined lifestyle into all you do e.g. 9 hours sleep a night (don’t make excuses about that!); a balanced lifestyle (at least 30 minutes of exercise every second day); manage your time well (time to work, time to study, time to eat, time to socialise and relax, time to exercise, time to follow an interest or hobby, time to sleep); say ‘no’ to drugs and alcohol abuse (so you don’t damage your brain during crucial developmental times), cigarettes and inappropriate sexual behaviour.

Service – give of yourself to others expecting nothing in return. Get involved in outreach programs. Through reaching out to others, you will discover many more positive qualities about yourself. Sometimes a friendly smile directed at a stranger or a peer can change their day. The world needs servant leaders – become one.

Share – share your ideals, passions and goals with at least one adult you trust and respect, in addition to your parent/s (optional). This is the person who can guide and encourage you non-judgmentally towards achieving your dreams. This experience teaches you how to be vulnerable with others in a safe and secure environment, a necessary life skill.

Stay focused – keep your eyes on your personal photograph at all times. That will get you through the tough and challenging times. There are no quick-fix, easy solutions. Success takes consistently hard work, careful planning and perseverance.

Take ownership – write down in the Present tense i.e. as if you were achieving your goal/s today, how you are feeling e.g. I feel …because …" Take ownership of your picture.

Teamwork – always seek to be a team player, a sure way to develop positive peer relationships, have role models in your life, be an encouragement to others, turn obstacles into opportunities and reach out to those in need.

Thanks – always express your genuine thanks to all who share their gold nuggets of wisdom and experience with you or offer you a helping hand.

Visualise – create an imaginary photo (or a real one!) of yourself achieving whatever it is you would like to achieve ie, as though you have already achieved it. Note your body language, your facial expression, your positive thoughts – never let go of it.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

A few of Gods thoughts on Marriage

For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” -Genesis 2:24

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.

This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.” – Ephesians 5:22-33

“Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. And let not your adornment be merely external – braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.” -1 Peter 3:1-9

Dear Lord i pray that you help us to become as you desire.May my marriage and those who read this experience the joy and blessings of MARRIAGE



Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

A good marriage must be created.
In marriage, the little things are the big things:
Never being too old to hold hands.
Remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
Never going to sleep angry.
Having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
Standing together facing the world.
Forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
Speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
Having the capacity to forgive and forget, and then forgetting what you forgave.
Giving each other an atmosphere in which to grow.
Not only MARRYING the right person, but BEING the right partner.

However, most of these are not practiced in MARRIAGES,especially in the southern part of Nigeria(WARRI) where this SACRAMENT is now a play tool.
Men turn thier wives into punching bags,Indulge in Alcoholism,sleep around with girls and even fellow men(the most disgusting),hangout till late,make LIES thier mother tongue.

In a nutshell they violate completely,the essence of MARRIAGE.